Sunday, January 22, 2006

Panthers-Seahawks: Observations from the couch, second quarter

7:29: Hasselbeck misses a wide-open Mack Strong in the end zone.
7:30: Touchdown, Alexander. 17-0, Seattle. There are 44 minutes and 53 seconds left in the game, and the temptation to say it's over is so, so strong.
7:31: I bet Pats fans feel about these "fraud monitoring" commercials the way I feel about Mama McNabb and her spots.
7:33: Buck: "This place is literally shaking." My head is literally shaking: nuh-uh.
7:33, redux: He Hate Me is in! Rod Smart returns the kickoff a modest distance.
7:34: Whatever else you say about this game, don't forget that it features starting fullbacks with the best possible names -- Hoover and Strong. Come on. That's cheating, to have fullbacks with names that good. No wonder they both made the title game.
7:35: Good lord. Delhomme airs it out on third and 1 to Somebody Carter, who comes up "with the biggest catch of his life," Buck says. First down inside the 30 for Carolina.
7:37: Hey, Steve Smith made a catch while I was watching! Buck says Fox's show 24 is "off to a fantastic start." And Delhomme literally shakes -- no, literally spins around 360 degrees, then throws a pass off a linebacker's helmet. I think I need Jake Plummer's O2 machine.
7:38: Delhomme looks like a rookie. He just took a huge third-down sack back at midfield, and that whole drive goes for naught.
7:40: Do you think August Busch IV was just homeschooled at the brewery after kindergarten? There was no chance his family'd let him be something other than a brewmaster. It's that Roman numeral; it really limits the career options. Don't believe me? Fine. By the way, nice win at Georgetown the other day, John Thompson III.
7:41: Buck says that Steve Smith "snapped during the break", conveniently enough. I don't blame him; he can't even smell the ball, and his quarterback throws like Adam Sandler in The Longest Yard, or at least in the promos I saw.
7:43: Carolina is finally getting decent pressure and making Hasselbeck look sub-superhuman. Time for Steve Smith to unsnap and return a punt -- if they punt anywhere near him.
7:45: Mesmerizing sequence. Smith catches the terrible punt, knifes through a few gaps and takes it to the house at Mach 6, but there's a flag. Hochuli says, "During the return..." and trails off, asking another ref what the call was again. Then says, "There is no foul on the play. Touchdown." Um, what? The crowd just snaps (not during the break). The flag was for a block in the back, but then the refs decided that the Panthers guy pulled up enough that it didn't warrant a penalty. 17-7, Seattle. Wowsers.
7:50: In the replay of Holmgren after the flag was picked up, he looks as feverishly angry as I've ever seen a coach.
7:51: Hasselbeck is back in his comfort zone, picking apart the vaunted Carolina D. 2nd and 10, he changes the play at the line but is forced to call a timeout when his guys don't seem to understand.
7:55: Hasselbeck scrambles for a first, then Alexander slashes for another, and then another. Three plays take Seattle from the SEA 40 to the CAR 22.
7:57: Darrell Jackson is called for an illegal crackback, and the crowd is ready to strangle Hochuli. Then Engram is muscled away from an end-zone shot, no flag, and the crowd seethes again. Good thing Hochuli can kick all their asses. Seattle's now backed up out of field goal range.
7:59: Jackson catches a pass long enough to get Josh Brown a shot at a 39-yarder ... and it's perfect. 20-7, Seattle.
8:00: Buck digresses to the Hawks' D: "I think the world is now seeing how good and how dangerous this Seattle defense can be." Yeah, sorry about that, guys. Aikman says they're not being predictable in how they try to stop Steve Smith, and to that I say, um duhhh. If they were being predictable, someone would predict it and know how to beat them. Too much couch for me, maybe.
8:03: Carolina needs to convert this third and 6, but Delhomme throws to a highly covered receiver. They'll have to punt and give Seattle one more chance to pad its lead before half.
8:04: Since I didn't do my research, it's only now that I find out (because Buck says it) that Seneca Wallace isn't a receiver at all, he really is the backup quarterback, but they simply put him in a pass route. Cool.
8:08: After the two-minute warning, Hasselbeck throws for a first down and Seattle can probably run the half out.
8:10: The announcers mention how long Hochuli is taking to make calls, but I think it's because he's scanning the stadium for emergency exits.
8:14: Thirty-three seconds left, fourth down at the Carolina 30. Holmgren decides to kick a 49-yard field goal instead of going for it or punting. The wind catches it in the last 10 yards and it's no good. Carolina has about 30 seconds to go about 30 yards to get into field goal range itself.
8:17: Ten seconds left. Smith drops/Delhomme misses a pass that would have put them into field goal range. The half ends with a "Hail Mary" that wasn't, an out route to the 20-yard line. Huh? Frank Reich, still awake?

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