Food hangover

That groaning sound you hear from hundreds of miles away is me.

Yesterday, I didn't eat anything until 6 p.m., then I had half a chicken, two cheeseburgers, eight Caribbean Jerk boneless wings and a burrito in an eight-hour span. I also had seven drinks, but with all the food I ate I'd have gotten more drunk gargling mouthwash for thirty seconds.

Hi Mom! Can you believe I'm already 27?