Move your [expl. del.] Touareg

Granted, my apartment building has a tight parking lot, but all the more reason you should spend those extra five precious seconds on making sure your ugly SUV's ass doesn't stick out two feet beyond where it should, or that the car doesn't take up two feet of space in the adjacent spot. Oh and also, park in my assigned spot again and I'll use my mailbox key to scrape the words "I'D RATHER BE RECOVERING FROM MY LOBOTOMY" into your bumper.

Have a good one, neighbor! Take 'er easy!